I FINALLY FEEL THE WORLD SPIN

Dependancy: I can’t be. I can’t depend, I will not assume anyone will meet my expectations or live up to their end of a bargin. I have just become comfortable with the others, comfortable with them trying to hold me back.

And it’s still there: the twitch, the something that isn’t right, the pounding heart that doesn’t let me sleep, the hunger, the cravings.

Expiry dates: They divide the sections of our lives into manageable portions. They help make each commitment less of a commitment and more of a phase in life to get through. I’m really not afraid of success, but rather what will come next. 

I’m not angry: I guess we’re all just pissed off about everything when we look at the things around us as a whole, when we see the big picture.

Walking alone through the dark woods really isn’t any walk through the park. It doesn’t matter if you’re looking good. What would it matter how you look in the dark?

Control: It is possible to have control of yourself, even if you have no control over your surroundings. The problem to me is blocking my surroundings out of my head so I can concentrate on myself. Stop controlling your environment and start controlling yourself.

Religion: It has been trying to make me feel guilty for my natural inclinations. I’m going to do (and fuck) what ever I need to get by. There is something trying to control me (and my generation) from making the most out of myself, and this world. That something is old and should be long gone. 

The pigeons: They are ruthless. 

It dissipates: The people around you, they’re not even there. They are hollow figures, and what you feel from them turns into memories and emotions which is all just dancing around in your head. When the figures are dead and gone, you are left with nothing but your thoughts which you can warp in any way (as if they never existed and only are a figment of your imagination.)

The layers: The first is the cold, reptilian layer of survival and instincts. Hunter gatherer, the foraging societies. The second is socialization, mingling with the others. It is emotion— happy, sad, angry. It began with the rise of cities, agriculture— the Neolithic Revolution. But the third is open to endless possibilities. It is the light. Sexuality, beliefs, morals and values. This is the floral layer— this is recent to human history. This is what shakes us up the most. It’s no longer about common sense. We are all now enlightened, we transcend ideas. We all have issues. 

Differentiation: Let’s focus on our similarities instead of our differences. 

Are you sure you’re wearing the right clothes? Because now you must take them off. You want to leave but the world isn’t going to let you go. 

Lost: I’m not lost, I think I’ve just found a different road. It’s made me too proud.